And she also responded disproportionately to people showing basic emotional care? Things might not be equitable in terms of blame, but start by reflecting how YOU contributed to the demise of your relationship. He threw the relationship on the fire, got rid of the old toy for the new. You Havenât Gotten Any Closure . Everything truly seemed fine and in my opinion, our personalities were great together. blindsidedçææãè§£éåç¿»è¯ï¼1. 2. If other people were around it would be like I wasn't there at all he'd be performing so much for everyone's attention. Like any post-fight breakup, usually there is a cooling off period and potential for communication and reconciliation. Not me. This isn't the time to withdraw from people who love you. When I asked what she thought friendship was (this was after the breakup and she had asked to stay friends, so I wanted to know what she meant by that), she said emotional intimacy wasn't a part of that for her. I feel like I shouldnât be so blindsided by a breakup and honestly itâs hard to come to terms with. Hereâs what I know for sure about people who deal you a âblindsided breakupâ: Itâs not the case that they just woke up that day and decided to do it. I think had she withdrawn slowly it would of hurt less because Iâd of felt it coming. Basically I donât know what to do. I canât get her out of my head so I messaged asking for clarity because it was so unexpected. Many people who end relationships this way very likely suffered from emotional neglect as a child and never emotionally matured into an adult. And cruelly leave you without any answers. 0. Like everything was picture perfect up until that day or even week. Dear God, this happened to me, too. Red flag. Blindside definition, to tackle, hit, or attack (an opponent) from the blind side: The quarterback was blindsided and had the ball knocked out of his hand. After a breakup, it can be excruciating to deal with all of this, but, before doing anything rash â like sliding into your ex's DMs â you should consider what's going on behind the scenes. I would have had to try to get the relationship to go further, or end it, if something major hadn't forced her to address it. These are written in a way that's a bit more specific to my ex: Had a preference for the 'getting to know you' stage of a relationship. Breakups. You've Been Betrayed, Making Learning How To Get Over Heartbreak Seem Impossible. Start learning a new language or get really into a new TV show. So I wrote jokes. She is married but her husband who I met a couple of times was aware but not involved.it quickly became more than that talking everyday, meeting to go on cute dates rather than just sex, getting each other Christmas presents that kind of thing. Whether you saw it coming a mile away or were totally blindsided by a breakup, it's hard to move on when you feel like you don't know the real reason that things didn't work out. Many go from job to job never being able to keep one for any long period of time. Since you didn't see any red flags or warning signs, it's natural to feel as though there's something you can do to â¦ Would you expect a five year old to sit down and rationally discuss a relationship? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the ExNoContact community, Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. They are not capable and neither is your ex. And I think she used her 'active and practical' persona to pretend she wasn't bothered by things. For example, she did not predict that looking for a job was going to be draining, despite more than one person telling her that, and it just being generally obvious. It was so blunt I didnât even know what to say so I just said I understood and left it at that. Trust me Iâve done so much analyzing, so much research, seeking so much guidance and looked within myself. Watch their breakup here. Yep. Whether you saw it coming a mile away or were totally blindsided by a breakup, it's hard to move on when you feel like you don't know the real reason that things didn't work out. I see all this in myself and in her. I thought a lot of her reasons were bullshit, but after enough months passed I was able to see that there were signs I â¦ 4. No. Whether to just give up and walk away for good (I donât actually think I could) or wait til the new year and see if the situation is up for discussion. Surely not even him, yeah he got what he wanted but surely in the long term this kind of toxic behaviour has consequences? I obviously donât want anyone to get hurt but it feels like this ending isnât good for anyone? And then suddenly over a weekend (i saw the shift happen before my eyes) it was gone. She LOVED when people showed her just basic emotional attention, I think because she rarely got much of it. Started moving up. Happy holidays. Iâve learnt how I can be a better partner and I know what to do in my next relationship. Bro you went full beta. The post did help confirm that my ex was emotionally a child, maybe not 5 year old level, but definitely not where she would have been for a serious relationship. But then she would be shocked by how she felt once she was in the thing she committed to. Emotionally immature, can't take responsibility of own actions, etc.. Because we have been LD from the get go for 2 years, I asked for one hour of quality time after seeing that he started to focus on video games more. So I didnât notice the subtle hints she was leaving, I didnât analyze my behaviour because I didnât think anything was wrong. Everything truly seemed fine and in my opinion, our personalities were great together. I don't believe in breaks, especially an 8 month "break". The only issue I guess I go over is if it was really over this one stupid incident. Getting Over Heartbreak. This last one is a bit messier. So, he ended it and then a week later after begging (which wasn't the best moment for me :\) he wanted to reconcile and then a few weeks later, he wanted a 8 month "break" to focus on himself, work, school & financial situation. Then he unblocked me and would call. When they hurt people, they canât even comprehend what they have done. Everything truly seemed fine and in my opinion, our personalities were great together. I explained I was hurting from losing her but also how she was being so cold. Blindside definition is - to hit unexpectedly from or as if from the blind side. 8.5k. You are better off without this person in your life and being a mature adult, you will be able to heal from your pain and go on and find true happiness with, Source: https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/275415-if-you-have-been-dumped-out-blue-read. This happened to me in my previous relationship before this one. report. She never actually named emotions. Close. Shutterstock. They close the door on you and never look back. The only thing I can think of that was even going wrong was that our NYE plans didnât work out, so â¦ Now, before we get to the ânitty grittyâ of being blindsided â¦ So thatâs what led me to feel blindsided, never in a million years would I have guessed how she felt. There's nothing worse than being blindsided by a breakup. Reddit LinkedIn WhatsApp Email Print ... Whitneyâs breakup with Chase totally blindsided her. This is true. Of course not. When she did talk about 'emotions', she was usually really talking about behaviour, or would use metaphors. My ex, throughout the entire relationship, and really hardcore post-relationship, has said that he "can't be loved by just one person" and that "he needs everyone to love him or he's not satisfied". But my ex was fresh out of the army after serving for 11.5 years, suddenly went from having income to nothing, from being a badass to a 31-year old college student. We never had problems in our relationship, any issue I had (very infrequently) I would bring up so we can solve it together. I would answer but I wouldn't engage or have a reaction. blindsidedçææãè§£éåç¿»è¯ï¼1. Not that I was perfect or anything. What hurts me the most is that 2 years into our relationship I was having doubts and felt myself slipping out of love. Honestly Iâve never been hurt like it. Shutterstock. Holy cow. Breakup Type #1: The Bad Breakup. If there's one thing we can pretty much all agree on, it's that breaking up with someone is never a particularly fun or easy task. Doesn't have basic conversations with friends or family about interpersonal disagreements to make sure they're being handled? Same thing happened to meeeee. eharmony Staff. His trip was just over two weeks, over half of which he ignored me entirely, put me on the back burner, didnât even wish me a merry Christmas (after being together for 5 years). Yup, the blindside breakup. Feel free to shoot me a message. Talks about being unable to discuss feelings their entire life? For years now, it's been a personal passion of mine to help people recover from heartbreak. It still tugs at our heartstrings years later. (getting married, moving in together, being confronted about the drugs or alcohol, demanding they find a job, making a committment, etc). Breakup Type #2: The Mutual Breakup. Doesn't feel comfortable talking about them? With no new job lined up? 4. I would ask her if anything was bothering her and she would tell me it was either school, her family or her work that caused her stress or uneasiness. She didnât bring anything up that was bothering her and led me to believe there were no problems. When someone treats you like this, it is some of the worst pain and suffering a human being can ever experience. Thatâs what happened to me. It explains it all. She also seemed to have somewhat superficial friendships and relationships. Fortunately, I am very funny and very talented, and sharing stories with an audience was the first time I started to feel better. Blindsided by a break up. Care to take a wild guess at what type of breakup this article is going to talk about? In a recent Reddit thread, women shared the stories of â¦ First, Trescott suggests writing a list of all the ways the breakup blindsided you. Boyfriend blindsided me with break up. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/275415-if-you-have-been-dumped-out-blue-read. He knew I would see it, he knew I was suspicious and he totally did it on purpose. All the things that were pushing her buttons too far. Not me. Watch their breakup here. I donât want to give up on someone who felt so right for me if that makes sense. The fun, and for me personally the poly set up really works youâve together. And started sobbing toy and never looks back, without any thought or compassion for the new toy and learned... Initially it was so unexpected bounce back some of the keyboard shortcuts, https: //www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/275415-if-you-have-been-dumped-out-blue-read was by.., without any thought or compassion for the emotional fallout he threw the relationship blindsided breakup reddit. 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